Holiday Party for the Part Time Employee.

Okay, I'm not a big joke telling type of person. It's just not the way I role...but I could become that guy. Hanging out with an old man at an office holiday party in which I knew hardly anyone at, he targeted me, because he heard I was into comedy. Bob is his name. Generic, maybe, but a great guy. He wanted to know my best joke. I told him that I don't do 'jokes'. But he insisted.

So, I have one stock joke in my repoitore. Here goes:

Setup: What did one dehydrated frenchman say to the other dehydrated frenchman?

Punchline: What are we going to do Pierre?

Hilarious I know. Bob went on to tell me a few more jokes that were interesting. Some religiously charged, but satirically sound. In any case, they weren't offensive. Other than that, he told me acouple of other rather risque penis jokes. Mind you, I am at a holiday party for Chinese scholars while he is telling me these.

Okay, so here goes:

Bob: While out on a safari, a hunter stops to go to the bathroom. His manhood is out dangling in the wind when an elephant walks up to him. The elephant says, that's pretty nice, but can you lift logs with it?

Kevin: contained laughter due to immediate surroundings.

Bob: Oh, I've got another one for you.

Kevin: Go for it, I'd love to hear another.

Bob: So a young boy who was recently circumcised is sitting in his kindergarten class. After the teacher walks away during some free time, the boy takes out his penis. A large crowd forms around the boy, so the teacher walks over. The teacher immediately sends the child to the principal's office. The principal talks to the boy and asks him what he was doing. The boy says, "I told my mom it hurt. And my mom told me, as long as I stick it out until noon, everything will be okay."

Kevin: more uncomfortable contained laughter

After this round of jokes, I told Bob that in my improv group we play this game called 185. As I told Bob, the improv game consists of telling a stock joke like this: 185 blanks walk into a bar...exposition exposition, punchline. All I need from you Bob, is to fill in the blank. Then I tell you a joke that usually ends with the rimshot sound from a drumset. So give me an object.

Bob said, alright. Wheel.

After I thought for a moment, I commenced with my jokes:

185 sick wheels roll into a bar. They stop at a stool. The bartender asks them if they would like a drink. They replied, "No thanks, we don't wheel well."

185 sleepy wheels roll into a bar. The bartender asks them if they want a beer. They say, "no, but we'll take a coffee, we're really tired."

185 wheels roll into a bar for their friends bachelor party. They are drinking and slamming shots all night long. At the end of the night they head to the bartender to settle up their tab. The bartender tells them, $1200. The wheels are stunned and begin to plead with the bartender, "Come on, it's our friends bachelor's party, give us a brake."

Then I stopped telling jokes. And left.